Remembering and Wondering
I already had a post created for yesterday so I am posting this today, but it should have been done yesterday. I didn't want my thoughts to get overshadowed by the funny pizza video.
A couple of years after my little sister Courtney was born, my Mum and Dad had another little girl named Ashley. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be, and she passed away a few short hours after she was born. We all got to hold her and say our good-byes to her. I was heartbroken at the time, but never understood the extent of how my Mum and Dad were feeling until I had my own children. How do you deal with losing a child? This past November when my son was in the hospital, we certainly thought about that possibility because he was so ill, but you never lose that hope that a little miracle will happen that causes everything to flip around and get back on the right course. Thankfully this happened for us and my son is healthy and home, and being a typical 13 year old.
I've mentioned before that I have a commute to work and I think about a million different things. I often think of Ashley and wonder what she would have been like. Would she have been a musician like her sister Courtney, or would she have be an athlete? What would her voice sound like? What would her laugh sound like? What career would she have chosen; a doctor, a lawyer, or would she have decided to stay at home and take up farming? These are questions that we will never have answered, no matter how much we want them to be.
So today I am thankful for...............my wonderful parents who I never tell enough how much I love them and how much I appreciate all the things they have done for me and taught me.
Give your kids an extra little hug today, and remember how blessed you are to have them....no matter how much they are driving you batty! Always look for that silver lining.
Chow for now,
Jacqui
posted by Jacqui | 9:03 AM
3 Comments:
I can still remember that day, I called home from being on the road and found out. Even though I never got to hold Ashley my heart was breaking and I cried all day long. A friend of mine's son just passed away, his funeral is Monday. He was 28, with a young son and a wife. Would that be easier, being she got to know her son, or so much harder for the same reason? Would it be easier to lose a baby like Mum did with only knowing that precious angel for so briefly and only having the life that you have imagined for them instead of the real thing? A couple years ago a friend of mine lost a baby girl just like Mum, they were not able to save her after she was born, I was so mad at God, this brought up old feelings about Ashley. But over time and talking with friends and seeing the strength and faith that my friend and her husband had even after losing their own daughter, I had to believe that there is a purpose in life and death, even if we don't know what it is, and God was not mad at me for being mad at Him.
It seems unfair that parents should live to see their children pass away, it is not right. Perhaps Ashley was looking over Joel and she told God, she could wait to play with him, cause Aunt Jacqui was not done playing with him yet.
We will never know till we pass on, but I love to imagine beautiful things about heaven.
Love you,
Diana
There is a reason for everything that happens ... it took over 20 years for me to realize the reason I only got to raise two of the three babies that I had given birth to. I got to hold and love my youngest for three months before we had to give him back, but we will never forget him.
Blessings to you, Jacqui and your family and thank you for sharing your story of Ashley.
That was a very nice post mom. I am glad to be named after someone so special and close to your heart. And Aunt Diana I really like your thought that Ashley is looking over Joel and told God that she could wait to play with him, we are all so glad that he is still here with us to touch and hold today.
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